A big part of organizing is getting over fears. Getting clear about the perameters—the reality—of the organizing situation is key to getting over fear and into a feeling of accomplishment. Reality bites, but you can bite back. Take it one small bite at a time until you find yourself having a lot of peace around your particular reality. It’s similar to digesting a calmly eaten, satisfying meal.
Take a bite out of your clutter: What most people who struggle with clutter see is whatever is on the surface. This is what guests notice too, but it is not the whole story. You’ve got to open cupboards, drawers and closets to get the full picture. Very often you will find space you didn’t know you had. When we take the time to check out the reality of what is contained in our storage we find either completely empty space or a bunch of stuff we have forgotten about, don’t use and don’t need. That unneeded stuff represents more empty space once you make a decision about it.
It is better to start the declutter process with storage than with surfaces. Storage tends to hold older stuff, which often has become irrelevant and can be let go. Surfaces tend to hold more recent, active and wanted items, which can be organized into cupboards and drawers once there is some space.
The fear is usually that something in the storage spaces will be difficult to part with or that the storage will be so stuffed full that it is overwhelming. This is very often a fear based in reality, but not always! If it is your reality, you probably need to hire help to get everything out into the light and reorganized and assessed. But if you never open the storage and look at what you have got, your clutter problems will never be alleviated.
Take a bite out of your finances: When I was struggling with my finances in my 20s and 30s someone told me to just get a grip on the real numbers. I needed to track what my income was and what I spent and the reality of what my bills—the hardscape—were. When you get the real numbers down, the fears start to lessen, even if you are outspending what you are making. When you see it in black and white, you have the power to make an informed choice about where to cut back or whether you want to try to earn more to cover certain things. For almost any organizing project, writing things down will help alleviate fears.
A lot of fears come up for people when dealing with possessions of a deceased loved one. People with clutter issues have the hardest time with these situations because often a whole estate will get delivered to their already overcrowded garage, spare bedroom, basement or even the main rooms of the house. It’s difficult enough to handle one’s own clutter, but add someone else’s on top of that and it is a quick recipe for a meltdown.
I suggest not putting off dealing with a loved one’s clutter. Sometimes grief brings a lot of clarity to a situation. It is similar to planning a memorial or writing an obituary as a way to focus attention on the positive and keep from being overwhelmed by loss. Looking though letters and photographs, especially with other loved ones, can be a really healing experience.
Going through the clothing and household items of a loved one is sometimes more difficult than going through memorabilia because it represents everyday life and somehow feels more “real” than letters and photos. It is important to move items along to donation or consignment while they are still in good repair or will be useful to someone. I’ve seen over and over the poor results of procrastination with this sort of task: when it is finally tackled, mice or dust or moisture or heat have done their damage and the majority of the items must be trashed. What might have been simply poignant becomes tragic with the guilt of wastefulness attached to it.
Recognizing that what might be keeping you from an organizing task are fears can be the first step in confronting them and perceiving the reality of the situation. It is usually not as bad as you’ve built it up to be. Take it bite by bite and you’ll be amazed at how quickly you can bring things into calm, well-digested order.