Remember a few years back when the word “appropriate” was being used to describe whether someone was behaving lawfully and in a socially acceptable manner with healthy boundaries for whatever the situation happened to be? Beyond behavior, there was the appropriate dress for an occasion, the appropriate snack for a young child, the appropriate amount of stuff anyone should own, the appropriate amount of money one should spend or save or donate, and on and on. Personally, I felt like the Stepford Wives had put a mix of lithium and Ambien into the nation’s drinking water.
I like the term “right-sized” much better. Although it has a lot in common with “appropriate,” it has less of a “one-size fits all,” finger wagging sense to it. Like appropriate, right-sized can apply to everything in one’s life and it is appealing right now to muse about how we might adjust to expand or contract in certain areas. The Goldilocks simplicity of finding your right-size—the things you can control—can help to balance the mind-numbing insanity of current events.
To find your right-size, start with your age. In our teens and 20s, it doesn’t make sense to burden yourself with a lot of possessions. This should be a time of freedom and mobility, time to find out who you are, what you like and what your purpose is. It’s harder to do this if you have to pay for, care for and store a bunch of possessions that it’s 95% likely you will outgrow by the time you’re 30.
The purchase of a home, marriage, children and settling into a career in one’s 30s and 40s leads to a natural accumulation of possessions. We typically collect the most stuff between the ages of 30 and 65. At retirement or with the onset of illness or the death of a parent or partner, we start to wake up to the fact that we’ve got to start dispersing some of this accumulation. This process is usually called “down-sizing,” but again, “right-sizing” seems more upbeat and optimistic.
We are never too young to check in as to whether or not something is “right-sized” for where we are in life. Right-sized eating, right-sized exercise, right-sized sleep, right sized savings, right-sized work load, right-sized spending, right-sized amount of clothing, or furniture in a room, or toys for the children. If we can consider whether something is right-sized before we make the purchase, we are less likely to be overwhelmed when the inevitable time to reduce our possessions (or eating or work or spending) comes around.
Take caution with giving your young children and teen-agers too much stuff. It’s wonderful to have a sense of abundance—no one likes to feel lack—but overloading a child’s space and schedule with too much can not only overwhelm them, leading to anxiety, hoarding, carelessness or waste, it also can prevent the child from experiencing the boredom that is necessary to activating imagination and creativity. The copious plastic toys and outgrown clothing sent to landfills is another problem that could be avoided if we consider what is right-sized for right now.
When organizing it is always important to zoom in and out of any situation or category. Zoom out to the 30,000 foot view to see if the amount of something—weight, sleep, black pants, shoes, paper towels—is right for you. How does too much or too little sleep impact the rest of your life? Do you really need the 12-pack of paper towels if you are a single person living in a studio apartment? Does it make sense to dedicate a third of your closet to black-tie attire if you haven’t been to a formal event since 2015? Follow these considerations by zooming in to your particular amount of space and how you want to store the amount you decide is right for you.
Getting right-sized is important at every stage of life to increase mobility, opportunities, perspective and financial stability. It’s not just for seniors, in fact, by the time you might have to move you may not have the energy and physical or mental capability to handle the process yourself. Don’t procrastinate. Start right-sizing a little every day.