Decluttering and organizing with others can be tricky. Our possessions—our baggage—carry their own baggage. So much of our stuff is tied to strong memories and emotions and some, like financial and legal paperwork, is sensitive, private and needs to be protected. We have things that are valuable and should be handled with care and stuff that might look like trash to some but to us is a treasure because it was a silly gift or a child’s nursery school craft. When we need help with purging and organizing but can’t afford or don’t quite need a professional, it’s important to choose a particular type of friend.
Think of skills or resources you have that you could exchange with each of the friend types listed below and offer to trade. If you are great at accounting, many of us need that sort of help. If you are an attorney, some education on legal issues a friend might be facing could be a good trade. If you’re a great cook, make and freeze a few dishes for one of the friends. Knit them a sweater or offer to mend or hem clothing if that’s in your skill set.
There are a lot of simple and inexpensive ways to make a helping friend feel extra appreciated. Always have easy to grab bottled water or cold drinks available. Coffee brewed and ready is always a good idea, especially in the colder months. Find out what snacks they love and have them on hand. If you’re working a whole day, offer to buy lunch.
Make sure you have the tools you need to make the work go smoothly. Think ahead about the project and be prepared with what you need (file folders, trash bags, labeler and label tape, clothes hangers, etc.) Here’s a few of the types of friends you might ask to help you get organized:
The Strong, Capable Friend: For bulky and heavy items that don’t require privacy or sensitivity, a physically strong and energetic friend is a great helper. Owning a pick-up truck is a huge plus. With physical jobs, water, coffee and pick-me-up snacks are essential. The tools to have are empty boxes for hauling small donations away, a hand truck (dolly) if you think you will need one for heavy items, work gloves or plastic gloves for working in dirty areas, a box cutter, shipping taple, trash bags and a recycling container handy.
The Financially Savvy Friend: If you are working on getting your tax documents together or creating a file system, a financially savvy friend usually knows his way around an office. They can advise you somewhat on what to keep and what to shred or recycle and how to basically set up a file system. Of course, always check with your CPA before getting rid of documents related to your taxes and refer to your attorney about legal documents, etc. Your friend should not be there as an expert necessarily—unless you are paying them in that capacity–but just as a guide to get you moving in the right direction.
The Martha Stewart Devotee: If you have a friend who follows Martha and knows her way around a kitchen, he or she can probably help with how to organize kitchen cupboards and a pantry and what you might let go. Are you really going to cook angel food cake, bundt cakes, make jelly molds or make a cheese cake? All of these require special, bulky pans that you could easily part with. The way we cook and entertain has changed and lots of these old-fashioned kitchen items just take up valuable space. Do you really need three flour sifters? Or [otato mashers? Or meat tenderizers?
The eBay Expert: Someone who spends a lot of time on eBay might be a great person to help you evaluate art, jewelry, collectibles and furniture that you would like to sell or that you need to document for insurance purposes.
The Fashionable Friend: If you have a friend who always looks put together and fashion forward, maybe she would be willing to help you clear out your closet. You could probably trust that sort of friend to help you decide what is flattering and in style and what to get rid of. Think of who you know who seems to understand clothing care and fashion but is not a compulsive shopper. I have three or four friends I can think of who I would be glad to go through my wardrobe with me and who understand the value of good hangers, moth repellent tents and why having too many hand bags is more of a curse than a blessing.
It almost goes without saying that whatever friends you ask to help you with organizing should be honest and direct, yet kind and non-judgmental. This is why I suggest trading skills with a friend is more likely to be effective than getting help from a family member. A friend will have much less skin in the game emotionally, financially or otherwise and is likely to be far more neutral about your stuff.