A couple of weeks ago I wrote about taking a personal admin day or at least a “focused fifteen” minutes each week to handle niggling items on your to-do list. I was surprised a few weeks later to see an article in The New Yorker about people who get together in person or on Zoom to tackle admin tasks together. People who have been procrastinating on to-do’s from filling out insurance documents to planning a child’s birthday party to writing a will find that being in a group with other people working on their own to-do’s (in silence) really works to be able to finally cross these things off their lists.
There are lots of reasons being in a group, or even with just one other person, helps us to show up and focus. When people are counting on our presence, we are more likely to show up, even if it is to benefit us, as in a doctor’s appointment.
Working alongside another person, even if their task is different, encourages us to stay focused until an agreed upon break or end time. This is called “body doubling.” All someone has to do to support you is sit there, even if they read the newspaper or do a crossword puzzle while you work on your task.
Body doubling is different than mirroring or coaching. Early on in my career I had a client ask if I had a rate for simply sitting there while he cleaned out his closet because, he said, he knew how to do it, he just needed someone to sit there. I decided I wasn’t comfortable with that, but I am comfortable with a more “hands-off” approach than my usual way of working. That can look like mirroring—which could be thinking out loud with a client as they make decisions and do the work of organizing, or coaching, which includes more direct suggestions and perhaps, setting time limits and other parameters for the session.
Accountability partners are a really great way to use friends and colleagues to motivate you to get stuff done. Make a list of the top three tasks you want to complete for the week and share it with a friend who also has a list of tasks. Check in during the week at designated times to see what progress has been made.
At the end of a week, meet up again in person or on the phone and go over which tasks got done and which didn’t. Discuss why certain tasks didn’t get done and what the next steps might be. Sometimes, the next step is to cross the task off the list anyway and move on. When something lingers on a to-do list for years without any action being taken, it might mean that you don’t really want or even need to do it.
The tasks we tend to resist the most are those that we can’t quite grasp the very next action is we need to take in order to move the needle forward. Once that is uncovered—and discussion with your admin group or accountability partner can really make it clear—you will probably find you get to the finish line pretty easily.
Another reason for resistance is that the deadline is nebulous, too far out or extremely unpleasant to think about. If the deadline is nebulous, find a way to get it set in stone. You might have to create your own restrictions. For example, if you want to write a book but don’t have a publisher or anything other than your own desire to do so, you will have to get creative about setting your own boundaries and deadlines. Hiring someone, like an editor, might also help you to stay on track, since you will be spending money and have someone waiting on your progress.
If a deadline is too far out—like end-of-semester papers that are assigned at the beginning of the term—find ways to give yourself shorter yet meaningful deadlines along the way.
If you are writing a will or something that requires thinking about “worst-case scenarios,” you might need to reframe the task with some positive reasons you are doing it or if you would feel comfortable taking it off your list and letting it slide for the time being. Your attorney, adult children, siblings or financial advisor might be a good “focus friend” or accountability partner on something like this.
Other people can support us in work and distract us in play. Building time for breaks and a little fun in your groups will prevent burn out and make them much more effective and enduring.